Top of the world!

 

Okay, before anyone says, 'OMG, TMI!"  this isn't a sad post.  It's a discovery post.  I've had some big changes in the past few years, as everyone has.  Some I couldn't control and some I could.  What I discovered is that I could learn from these changes, or stay home and watch a lot of Law and Order reruns.  I decided to get out of the house.

My first lesson was how to be "on my own."  That lesson was more than how to grocery shop for one, but also how not to make the flat screen my best friend.  A common question I receive is whether I will ever date again.  Dating is really down on my list of priorities now.  I had to learn how to make new friends again, how to extend invitations, be flexible and available to invitations, know the importance of small talk (how about those Red Sox, the weather, the movies, books, and yes, that tv show).  I had been living with one person and working in one place for so many years the rut I found myself in was the size of the Grand Canyon. And it was lonesome inside that rut on my own.

The first move I decided on was to take an early retirement.  Some people cheered me on, some thought I would become too isolated.  What the latter didn't understand was that if I didn't shake up my life, I would have become the perfect couch potato, and locked in isolation.  There wasn't energy for anything else.  I had the type of job where I was never off the clock, and never meeting new people or doing new things.  While I appreciate the support my staff gave me through my troubles, the setting and routine was a constant reminder of what wasn't anymore.

So after my initial grieving period when I was starting to come up for air, I also wanted to get out of the house.  I have had the luxury of being able to take that early retirement, and try different outlets for new experiences.  That first retirement year I did a lot of volunteering, but I found that wasn't what I was looking for.  I was often alone doing something the organization needed done, when what I was looking for was company.  I'm being choosy now with how and when I offer my free service.

I picked up a small part-time job as an academic librarian.  It's just enough to keep my hand in my profession, and gives me lots of social contact.  I've discovered the pleasures of group outings through Meetup.com and the Appalachian Mountain Club.  I still have my book club, and we often have field trips as well as our meetings.  We go to museums, see movies and last summer went on an Essex River cruise in Ipswich.  I've discovered the priority on my list is to be a social being, and whatever follows from there I'll just let fall into place. 

My rock through all this has been my family, both through blood relations, and marriage relations.  You in-laws get gold stars for hanging with me.  My family relations are true blue.  I have tried to be connected yet not needy, and I hope I have succeeded.

The picture above was taken on the 86th floor of the Empire State Building.  I had taken the train down to Manhatten on my own.  I can do things on my own and have fun, as well as with others.  I feel right now that I'm on top of the world.  And I'm going to enjoy that feeling as long as I can.